The way we try to gain self awareness is usually by reflecting on what we’ve done. We ask some version of the question, “Why did I do that?” That kind of introspection is time-honored. It’s also often counter-productive.
The mind is tricky. When you ask yourself a question, you usually come up with an answer. It may not be the right answer, but we don’t often question it. Research shows that we often don’t question deep enough to get to underlying causes. We also settle for reasons that seem logical enough to us even if they aren’t accurate.
If you want to develop better self-awareness, you need to stop asking questions that start with “Why?” The mind will come up with answers, and most of them don’t lead to real self-awareness.